Tuesday, November 23, 2010

worn through.

I've known for awhile now that I probably do too much.

I have a "regular" job that takes up 40 hours of my week.
I take care of the barn and horses 12-14 hours per week.
I work on jewelry in all bits of in between, anywhere between 12 and 20+ hours, weekly. That is strictly bench time and does not include photo-taking, editing, description writing, listing, etc.
With winter here, the process of riding/cooling out/drying Cholula takes about 3 hours. I try to ride her at least 3-4 times per week.

Having a cup of tea and just sitting is a luxury I only experience about once per week. I have horrible guilt if I take a nap and "waste" a few hours of my remaining day...nevermind I only sleep 5 or 6 hours a night.

Suffice it to say, I am busy, and busy has been chipping away at me steadily for 3 years.

I am worn out and worn through. Don't get me wrong - I'm not sick of creating things. Conversely, I have more ideas spilling out of me than ever before. I'm trying to get a small portfolio of my photographs put together. I have sketches and pages of ideas for mixed media paintings.

I want a room full of tiny metal spoons hanging from the ceiling.

But, I don't have the time. And while I would love for this to be a grand post about how I am quitting my day job and jumping in feet first, I have bills to pay and horses to feed.

I'm not really sure what this post is about. I just want you to know that I really loathe the business end of things and I feel as though I'm spinning my wheels. I hate marketing. I haven't had anything to say or any photos to share so I've taken a bit of a break from blogging. Not intentionally - but no sense in forcing things that aren't there, right?

Suffice it to say that there is very little balance in my life and I haven't the faintest as to how to remedy that. As of right now, all of this doesn't really mean anything for my customers/etsy shop. However, the idea of continuing to push and try to become a self-employed artist is falling to the wayside.

This is my favorite David Bowie video ever:

And this is my favorite cover of said song. And perhaps my favorite version ever. Also, I was at this performance.

That is all.

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